Pelicarnassus, Picklestan
Look out your window, what do you see? I see a little tree with a chaloopa. And there, in that bush, there is another chaloopa. Thus, we have two chaloopas, a chaloopa dilemma if you will. Which is the chaloopa of truth, garlic, and where did I leave my phone?
Don't give them broccoli, if they come to your house.
This can only lead to more violence, YAY!
PEW PEW PEW, SHHHHHHCKK, POW, BOOOM! SHAZAAAAM!
Now from our newest correspondent:
Ahhhhhh, Ahhh tih!
Ahhh ha!
Ahhh ha ha!
Dadooom.
Dada
Dada
*shakes head*
*raises arms*
Ehhh *hmfph*
Nana
*high pitched untranscriptable screech*
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Sunday, July 2, 2017
FOURF OF FULY!
AMERICA, AMERICA
Time, A MARE Uhhh KUUUUH!
Patriotic Song:
Once Upon a time... I was sitting in my room,
Eating some carrots when I heard a big booooom.
I looked out my window, and what did I see?
It may shock you, I've only seen them on TV.
Theeeeeeee.... Llama heads are coming!
The llama heads are coming!
Lock your doors and windows for,
the llama heads are coming.
Where did they come from?
No one knows for sure.
They say they started on a farm,
built by Aaron Burr.
After the shame of killing,
the one we all hold dear.
He built a farm to breed,
animals we fear.
Most of them didn't make it,
like pigeon toed pigs,
but the llama heads did make it,
And I cannot eat Bisquick
Because it is not food.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Time, A MARE Uhhh KUUUUH!
Patriotic Song:
Once Upon a time... I was sitting in my room,
Eating some carrots when I heard a big booooom.
I looked out my window, and what did I see?
It may shock you, I've only seen them on TV.
Theeeeeeee.... Llama heads are coming!
The llama heads are coming!
Lock your doors and windows for,
the llama heads are coming.
Where did they come from?
No one knows for sure.
They say they started on a farm,
built by Aaron Burr.
After the shame of killing,
the one we all hold dear.
He built a farm to breed,
animals we fear.
Most of them didn't make it,
like pigeon toed pigs,
but the llama heads did make it,
And I cannot eat Bisquick
Because it is not food.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Sunday, April 9, 2017
DALLAS, TX
Wait a second, uhhh
Somebody went into a ... um ... a person on purpose.
A guy that punched his face every day.
Somebody went to the store and they ... bought 100 popsicles, and those popsicles had bugs on them. Then he ate them and he said "mmmmm". That's funny because he ate bugs. Now he has West Nile Virus and his legs fell off. Instead of legs he has brooms so he's a sweeper-person now.
Wherever he goes, everybody yells: "Hey, sweeper-person, clean the road please!" and he becomes upset and decides to write a book about his broom feet. He titled the book "Don't Judge a Book by it's Broom Feet".
And now first, for a poem
By Angelica Skyler
When I was younger,
I had to pee a lot.
My mother was concerned,
so she took me to the dock,
where a boat saw me. I was scared.
For the world, for the peace of mind
For my sweeper feet, may the broom bristles be ever stiff.
May the Force be With You, and your ewoks productive in their slave farms
Now, time for DOG REVIEW:
First, let's review Penny:
Species: Dog
Special Move: Hip check
Weakness: Rolling over (cannot)
Flavor: Bacon salt with a hint of nutmeg
Collar color: Pewple
Next Up: Emilia
Species: Human
Special Move: shaking head no for everything
Weakness: Dogs
Flavor: mashed peas, and whatevers on the floor
Collar color: beige
Next Up: Baloo
Species: Wolf
Special Move: Monkey snarl with vampire teeth
Weakness: Penny's hip checks and collar
Flavor: Despair
Collar color: Not Applicable
Chihuahua's next Door:
Species: Rat
Special Move: Yipping
Weakness: Baloo
Flavor: Taco seasoning
Collar color: pizza
Jellycat:
Species: Demon
Special Move: Peeing on everything
Weakness: Seeing living things
Flavor: Pee
Collar Color: Cow
Wait a second, uhhh
Somebody went into a ... um ... a person on purpose.
A guy that punched his face every day.
Somebody went to the store and they ... bought 100 popsicles, and those popsicles had bugs on them. Then he ate them and he said "mmmmm". That's funny because he ate bugs. Now he has West Nile Virus and his legs fell off. Instead of legs he has brooms so he's a sweeper-person now.
Wherever he goes, everybody yells: "Hey, sweeper-person, clean the road please!" and he becomes upset and decides to write a book about his broom feet. He titled the book "Don't Judge a Book by it's Broom Feet".
And now first, for a poem
By Angelica Skyler
When I was younger,
I had to pee a lot.
My mother was concerned,
so she took me to the dock,
where a boat saw me. I was scared.
For the world, for the peace of mind
For my sweeper feet, may the broom bristles be ever stiff.
May the Force be With You, and your ewoks productive in their slave farms
Now, time for DOG REVIEW:
First, let's review Penny:
Species: Dog
Special Move: Hip check
Weakness: Rolling over (cannot)
Flavor: Bacon salt with a hint of nutmeg
Collar color: Pewple
Next Up: Emilia
Species: Human
Special Move: shaking head no for everything
Weakness: Dogs
Flavor: mashed peas, and whatevers on the floor
Collar color: beige
Next Up: Baloo
Species: Wolf
Special Move: Monkey snarl with vampire teeth
Weakness: Penny's hip checks and collar
Flavor: Despair
Collar color: Not Applicable
Chihuahua's next Door:
Species: Rat
Special Move: Yipping
Weakness: Baloo
Flavor: Taco seasoning
Collar color: pizza
Jellycat:
Species: Demon
Special Move: Peeing on everything
Weakness: Seeing living things
Flavor: Pee
Collar Color: Cow
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Poetry Corner
CAXAMBAS, FL
Welcome to another exclusive interview with the man behind the poems you and we all love to recite when the moon is just right and the cows are no longer our spleens, but rather our knees.
We are talking about the one, the only, Whacky Head
George Washington (GW): "So how did you get into poetry?"
Whacky Head (WH): "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow"
GW: "Any childhood trauma that contributes to your art?"
WH: "My favorite name is Whacky Head! Hey read this book to me!"
***Reading "Old Hat New Hat" By Stan and Jan Berenstain***
GW: "What is your favorite color"
WH: "Uhh, green"
GW: "Are you green with envy?"
WH: "I like green and blue?"
GW: "Hey Whacky Head, why do you like playing with those toys so much?"
WH: "Because I want to!"
GW: "Who is your role model?"
WH: "Mommy, what's a role model in baseball?"
GW: "Do you have diabetes?"
WH: "Nope, not yeeeet"
GW: "Is it hard for you to go out in public because you are so famous? Or do you just dress up in a chicken and you're fine?"
WH: "Yeah, I do"
GW: "You do what?"
WH: "I just do that"
GW: "Where is your favorite chicken costume store?"
WH: "Uhhh, a rooster."
GW: "What is your dream life?"
WH: "I love playing with Chloe and Gayland."
GW: "If there was one thing if you could do to fix the world, what would it be?"
WH: "I do not know what I'm doing right now!"
GW: "How do you overcome writer's block?"
WH: "I just use daddy to help me"
Let's end with a poem:
"How to be good"
Clean up
Uhh, breakfast
I'm trying to build these right now
I just do not hit people
That's the end of the story
I love mommy
Welcome to another exclusive interview with the man behind the poems you and we all love to recite when the moon is just right and the cows are no longer our spleens, but rather our knees.
We are talking about the one, the only, Whacky Head
George Washington (GW): "So how did you get into poetry?"
Whacky Head (WH): "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow"
GW: "Any childhood trauma that contributes to your art?"
WH: "My favorite name is Whacky Head! Hey read this book to me!"
***Reading "Old Hat New Hat" By Stan and Jan Berenstain***
GW: "What is your favorite color"
WH: "Uhh, green"
GW: "Are you green with envy?"
WH: "I like green and blue?"
GW: "Hey Whacky Head, why do you like playing with those toys so much?"
WH: "Because I want to!"
GW: "Who is your role model?"
WH: "Mommy, what's a role model in baseball?"
GW: "Do you have diabetes?"
WH: "Nope, not yeeeet"
GW: "Is it hard for you to go out in public because you are so famous? Or do you just dress up in a chicken and you're fine?"
WH: "Yeah, I do"
GW: "You do what?"
WH: "I just do that"
GW: "Where is your favorite chicken costume store?"
WH: "Uhhh, a rooster."
GW: "What is your dream life?"
WH: "I love playing with Chloe and Gayland."
GW: "If there was one thing if you could do to fix the world, what would it be?"
WH: "I do not know what I'm doing right now!"
GW: "How do you overcome writer's block?"
WH: "I just use daddy to help me"
Let's end with a poem:
"How to be good"
Clean up
Uhh, breakfast
I'm trying to build these right now
I just do not hit people
That's the end of the story
I love mommy
Home is where the spleen is
COWSBELL, MT
Lots of cows around here during this season of misfortune. Cows have replaced spleens. In all of us. People have been going to the doctors asking for X rays, and they've been finding baby cow bells where their spleens should be. And milk cartoons, chocolate milk especially. Dr. Michigan says that you should dig by that tree to find your soul. There is a hole right there, just make sure the dirt stays where all the dirt is. This and only this is the way to get your spleen back. The spleen is the tupperware container of the soul, filled with one third of a cup of apple juice if you are lucky. If you are unlucky, that's where the cows come in.
Snack Time! I'll be back in a second. BARK BARK!
Dang it, I've turned into a dog again and it's really hard to type when you have flippers.tgrtiyk6dhbsrzynjsdliohvdi daidbva caiasia faiasiysai dgkbfak
I'm MELTING BACK INTO A JELLY fish.
Blooop bloop
Have I ever told you the story of my cousin? He's the heart scratcher. Been doing this for 24 years, I reckon. If you draw a picture of a heart, he'll find it and scratch it. Free of charge, no questions asked you say? Of course we'll be back by Sunday, who wouldn't want a free tuna sandwhich when the moon is a full as a sunburned tomato. Do you even understand what I'm trying to say? Do you? Where is it, the Mayan calendar that you made out of papaya rinds and the sweet songs of old diabetic women?
One last go, the poetry SMASH:
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten!
Haha I was just counting
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten, eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen
By JT!
Because I wanted to be a whacker and I want to whack my head. Then I said "Nothing!" But while it come it hurted. Then it wasn't hurting anymore. That's the end of the story.
By, Eyedidd
Lots of cows around here during this season of misfortune. Cows have replaced spleens. In all of us. People have been going to the doctors asking for X rays, and they've been finding baby cow bells where their spleens should be. And milk cartoons, chocolate milk especially. Dr. Michigan says that you should dig by that tree to find your soul. There is a hole right there, just make sure the dirt stays where all the dirt is. This and only this is the way to get your spleen back. The spleen is the tupperware container of the soul, filled with one third of a cup of apple juice if you are lucky. If you are unlucky, that's where the cows come in.
Snack Time! I'll be back in a second. BARK BARK!
Dang it, I've turned into a dog again and it's really hard to type when you have flippers.tgrtiyk6dhbsrzynjsdliohvdi daidbva caiasia faiasiysai dgkbfak
I'm MELTING BACK INTO A JELLY fish.
Blooop bloop
Have I ever told you the story of my cousin? He's the heart scratcher. Been doing this for 24 years, I reckon. If you draw a picture of a heart, he'll find it and scratch it. Free of charge, no questions asked you say? Of course we'll be back by Sunday, who wouldn't want a free tuna sandwhich when the moon is a full as a sunburned tomato. Do you even understand what I'm trying to say? Do you? Where is it, the Mayan calendar that you made out of papaya rinds and the sweet songs of old diabetic women?
One last go, the poetry SMASH:
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten!
Haha I was just counting
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten, eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen
By JT!
Because I wanted to be a whacker and I want to whack my head. Then I said "Nothing!" But while it come it hurted. Then it wasn't hurting anymore. That's the end of the story.
By, Eyedidd
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Poetry corner #2, with Mr. Smash
Hello and welcome ladies and gentlemen,
Today we are going to have a soothing time, reading the poems that we've brought in today. Let's start out with Star Wars, the Phantom Menace.
I love snow, I love rain,
I like water, and rain
The rain, the rain, the rain, the rain, the rain, the pain tamales inside me beckon
No more..... No more.
Another one, from Canada:
I'm boba fett, I want my space shuttle,
Do you know where my space shuttle is?
Hey, hey do you know where my space shuttle is?
Thwart the Queen of Evil Dragons
And another, from Missouri:
The parade is today.
My birthday is today.
Yay.
Here is a poem from Washington:
I like chicken, and chicken likes me.
Inside out chicken, is the place to be.
Chicken whispers in my brain,
telling me to Thwart the Queen of Evil Dragons
From Oregon:
Sick days make pick days. Pickle days are green. I've got a pickle on my computer screen.
Pickle the Dragon, Queen of the Thwart. Pickle me this? Gymnastics of course!
Simple days jumping, among roads of gold. Told me this softly, spoke Peter the old.
If you take a monster, and shun him up water. Canada Canada is not Harry Potter.
Today we are going to have a soothing time, reading the poems that we've brought in today. Let's start out with Star Wars, the Phantom Menace.
I love snow, I love rain,
I like water, and rain
The rain, the rain, the rain, the rain, the rain, the pain tamales inside me beckon
No more..... No more.
Another one, from Canada:
I'm boba fett, I want my space shuttle,
Do you know where my space shuttle is?
Hey, hey do you know where my space shuttle is?
Thwart the Queen of Evil Dragons
And another, from Missouri:
The parade is today.
My birthday is today.
Yay.
Here is a poem from Washington:
I like chicken, and chicken likes me.
Inside out chicken, is the place to be.
Chicken whispers in my brain,
telling me to Thwart the Queen of Evil Dragons
From Oregon:
Sick days make pick days. Pickle days are green. I've got a pickle on my computer screen.
Pickle the Dragon, Queen of the Thwart. Pickle me this? Gymnastics of course!
Simple days jumping, among roads of gold. Told me this softly, spoke Peter the old.
If you take a monster, and shun him up water. Canada Canada is not Harry Potter.
Merry Christmaslug!
DAYTON, OHIO
Ouchie ouchie, that's the other one, ouchie ouchie
Ouch! Ouch!
Put the other one down, right here!
No, put it AT me!
No, put it OUCHIE!
I know what we can do, we can put it SLIDE!
OUR SLIDE, help help
I know a better slide we can do!
This one, this one is better!
Do the blue one now!
AAAAAhhhhh, stop it ouchie ouchie!
I kicked your car.
I don't know, what can we do? I don't know what we can do. Flaaarrsssh nebar! That is the new soup brand that's sweeping the nation of Gonswela Revenge! My grandma bought the soup once, said my grandma. It exploded her insides. Don't buy it.
Do you want a couch purse in a tissue box? I got plenty of those, you can make ghosts out of it, it's lots of fun. Some of my hobbies are: Making squids out of tentacles, and roses, and pulling teeth out of chairs. Sometimes my doctor says that I have inflonia, which means I have inflonia, bad. And my doctor is ..... tree bread.
OOOOOHHHH tree bread. The best christmas slug. I put you in a paper bowl made out of tiny shoes of my nephews. You had a good life. While it lasted. We took a picture once, or rather, you took a picture of us, before it all happened. What's that? I hear you. It's like a whisper in the wind. The wind of a diabetic zebra.
Ouchie ouchie, that's the other one, ouchie ouchie
Ouch! Ouch!
Put the other one down, right here!
No, put it AT me!
No, put it OUCHIE!
I know what we can do, we can put it SLIDE!
OUR SLIDE, help help
I know a better slide we can do!
This one, this one is better!
Do the blue one now!
AAAAAhhhhh, stop it ouchie ouchie!
I kicked your car.
I don't know, what can we do? I don't know what we can do. Flaaarrsssh nebar! That is the new soup brand that's sweeping the nation of Gonswela Revenge! My grandma bought the soup once, said my grandma. It exploded her insides. Don't buy it.
Do you want a couch purse in a tissue box? I got plenty of those, you can make ghosts out of it, it's lots of fun. Some of my hobbies are: Making squids out of tentacles, and roses, and pulling teeth out of chairs. Sometimes my doctor says that I have inflonia, which means I have inflonia, bad. And my doctor is ..... tree bread.
OOOOOHHHH tree bread. The best christmas slug. I put you in a paper bowl made out of tiny shoes of my nephews. You had a good life. While it lasted. We took a picture once, or rather, you took a picture of us, before it all happened. What's that? I hear you. It's like a whisper in the wind. The wind of a diabetic zebra.
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