MASACHUSETTS, OH-Sometimes I just think about whales, and every time I do, I think about whales that poop their pants.  I just looked on the calendar and saw that it is May 31, 2032.  Every time I look at that calendar I think about whales, because my calendar is whale themed.  And, everytime I think about whales I think about the president or the mayor.  And I remember, his, awesome words, REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR TOES!

And everytime I think about washing my toes I think about the little people that live in my toes. Ahhh, let’s change the subject.  How yo doin, how ya doin?  How. Ya. Doing?  Nobody is answering.  WHO’S PLAYING CROSSING ROADS????! MAX!!

The hippopotamus, likes, to, eat my bacon. 
My bacon, my bacon, my bacon.
So good, so good, so gooooooooddd!

The last time the mayor spoke it was about poetry.  This time it is about bomb poetry.  Take your bombs with you and you have to say your poetry fast before the bomb explodes.  We have the contestants, here they are:

1.       Creepy Horse Dude with a Baby on His Stomach (and not inside, on it!)

2.       Poopy-Face McGee (Jr)

3.       The Potato Man David

4.       Shark Table

5.       Not Bob

6.       Tubing Sunflower

7.       Inulin the White Knight of Diabetic Whales

8.       AHAAAHAHAHHAHAHA … Pft

9.       OKTHATSALL

So, I hope you come tonight because everything is going to blow up and you’ll die.  Some encouraging words from your mayor:  I KNOW I SAID TO WASH YOUR TOES, BUT, ALSO WASH YOUR FINGERS BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S ON THERE.  AND WASH YOUR TOES, AND YOUR HAIR.  TAKE A BATH SOMETIME AND EAT SOME BABY HANDS.

Speaking of baby hands, we have a baby hands eating contest.  If your bring something else other than baby hands they will kick you out with a poetry bomb.