IDAHO, UNITED STATES, PLANET EARTH
In the land of potatoes, "What the heck is a chunk star?" is what local residents are asking these days. From our reliable sources (meaning the gophers that ACTUALLY RUN THE COUNTRY), we have learned that, first of all, you can't just say "chunk star" like all quietly and stuff. If you want to make a splash you have to cross your eyes and scream "CHUNK STARRRSSSSSS!" while staring into the face of the oldest person in the room.
What is the point of this you ask? Quite simply, it's the only way to get rid of the Alpacas that have been accidentally stepping into the entry holes of our gophers, OUR BELOVED GOPHERS! How can we let this travesty continue Galactic Citizens? Gather your family, your material wealth, and your loved ones, bathe them in clove oil and start the war against the Alpacas.
Until next time, faithful readers of Galactic News.
CHUNK STARRSSSSSSS!
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